Truth or Dare with the Zelda Cast
by RaeTheLeo815
Summary: Yes, I know it's another Truth or Dare, but I wanted to see how it's like do one. I might go go on hiatus soon because I got major tests coming up. So please review!
1. Chapter 1

DTR: Hey for of you who don't know (obviously) I'm DraeTheRaven, and yes, this is my first fic

DTR: Hey for of you who don't know (obviously) I'm DraeTheRaven, and yes, this is my first fic. Before anyone says anything I know this has been done a lot, but I wanna get in on the fun too, and what better way to do it than a Zelda dare fic.

Link: You're doing this because you're too lazy to think of anything.

DTR: Look I got a lot personal stuff on my plate okay. Not easy when you're in summer school.

Midna: I wonder who's is fault is that?

DTR: Shut it you damn imp!

Midna: What did you call me?!

The Twili tackles authoress on the floor. Zelda walks in.

Zelda: They're fighting again?

Link: Unfortunately

Ganondorf: Ladies please

Both of girls look up from fighting. The Gerudo king grabs a seat and sits down with a bowl of popcorn.

Ganondorf: You can continue.

The two draw their attention back into the fight.

Zelda: Will you two stop it already! You're making yourselves look bad!

DTR: Fine, anyway, could you send in a couple of dares if not some questions? You can give dares for any character in the Zelda series. It doesn't matter what it is I'm doing this for fun.

Link: Yeah, fun to torture us all.

Ganondorf: For once I have to agree with him.

DTR: You honestly think I would do that to you all? (angel halo floats above head)

Everyone: YES!!

DTR: TOO BAD!! As the author what I say goes! So please send in reviews! And if you're the first (this for girls) I'll hook you up with Link or another male character (even though there's not a lot) in the next chapter.

Midna & Zelda: WHAT?!

The authoress gulps

DTR: So sending in those reviews now!!

The authoress runs for her life with two very angry princesses behind her. Link and Ganondorf watch while eating popcorn.

Link: Now this is a show!

Ganondorf: You said it!


	2. Chapter 2

DTR: Hey

DTR: Hey! DraeTheRaven here sorry for the delay but, I'm back with a brand chapter you've been waiting for. So start this chapter Midna will do the disclaimer.

Midna: Zzzz…

DTR: (Twitches) MIDNA!!

Midna: (falls out of chair) What?! Why the hell are you yelling?

DTR: It's time to start the show

Midna: Fine. DraeTheRaven does own any of the Zelda series if she did, there's a chance that Link and I might be together.

DTR: I might, but I don't wanna die of fangirl rage. Anyway thanks for that. One more thing I understand that those who want to send in reviews, but please keep them clean. I don't want to have to delete story because some of the reviews aren't rated T. Now, with that said on with the reviews!

All the main Zelda characters walk in.

DTR: Midna…

Midna: I got it. The first review is from Evil Spriggs and he wrote:

So. Anyway. I dare, uh, Midna and Malon to fight to the death with salad forks. Failing that, Ganondorf and Link can reenact the "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head" scene from "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid." You know the one.

DTR: A Twili Princess and a redhead stable girl fighting with forks. I wonder how this will turn out.

Malon: I have to fight Midna, but with a salad fork?

Midna: Honestly, can't we use real weapons like swords, battle axes, or something?

DTR: I can't change the dare okay? So just fight.

Zelda and Tetra hand the girls forks. The two start fighting.

DTR: While those are doing their dare, Link and Ganon you gotta start yours.

Link: I HAVE TO WHAT WITH GANONDORF!!

DTR: (shrugs shoulders) It could be worse.

Ganondork- I mean Ganondorf walks in dressed as Butch Cassidy

Link: Um… why… are you…?

Ganon: I'm getting into character. So can we start or what?

DTR: Right…go on ahead.

Ganon: There's something missing. (slips white dress on Link) Now we can start.

Everyone except Ganon and Drae: Oo

DTR: (sighs) its part of the scene people.

Ganondorf grabs a bike Link hops on the handlebars and they do the scene.

Zelda: Okay, it would be cute if a girl was do this Ganondorf or Link, but that was kinda creepy on a lot of levels.

DTR: I'm just trying to satisfy the reviewers, as long as they keep the stuff they send clean, things will work out just fine. And with that said the next review is from spirtofwater and they wrote:

Y halo ther. I dare Ganondorf and Midna to jump of a cliff. Muhaha

And for Zelda, truth- is Sheik a male?

Midna: I have to jump off a cliff, with the Crept Keeper?! Why can't people send in normal dares?

DTR: One, there is no such thing as normal (my opinion) and two a dare's a dare.

Ganondorf: (sarcastically) Yippee, one of my dreams come true, to jump off a cliff with a Twili.

DTR: This isn't my problem okay it's yours.

Midna: Remind to kill you like I did with Malon if I survive.

DTR: Yeah that'll happen.

Midna lunges to strangle authoress, but Zant grabs and holds her back.

Zant: I got her.

Midna: DON'T. YOU. DARE...

DTR: Sorry it's in the request. Oh, one more thing could I have your signature?

Midna: Why?

DTR: Because... you're my all-time favorite character!

Link: I thought I was your all-time favorite character?!

DTR: You are! Anyway, just sign.

Midna: Alright, fine. (signs then realize) Wait a minute! This is one of those medical contracts isn't it?!

DTR: Uhhh... Hey look Link's shirtless!

Midna: (Turns head) What?!

DTR: Drop her like it's hot!

Vaati and Link (drooling): She is.

DTR (OO): Ooookaaay.

Zelda: LINK!!

Link: Uhhh…. That would be something another guy would say! Right, Vaati?

Vaati: Don't drag me into this.

Zant: Screw this (releases Midna)

Midna: I swear if I survive this I'll !#!!

DTR: Yikes. Someone forgot to take their chill pills.

Vaati: Mmmhmm.

DTR(turns to Ganondorf and smiles): And as for you…Bye, bye!

Ganondorf: What the hell do you mean when you 'Bye, Byyeee…! (gets kicked off cliff)

DTR: Glad that's over. Anyway when you turn into Sheik do really become male?

Zelda: What makes this person think I'm a guy?!

DTR: Oh, I don't know you transform into one.

Zelda: Only to protect myself from Ganondorf!

DTR: I thought protecting you was elf boy's job.

Link: Hey! Not an elf!

DTR: Really, cause the last time I checked wearing green clothes, having pointed ears and a green cap made you an elf.

Link: (about ready to slay me out of anger).

Vaati: By the way you realize Ganondorf and Midna's going to kill you if they survive that fall.

DTR: I know, but I'm the Author so they can't do much.

Vaati: True, you want me to read the next review.

DTR: Sure, why not?

Vaati: Okay, the next review is from Midna3452 and hers says:

I can tell this is going to be funny. Okay Link, this one's for you. I dare you to kiss Midna. And i mean on the lips! For a whole minute without breaking free! That's all i have for now, but i might be back!

Midna (comes back covered in scratches and bruises): I have to what?!

DTR: Sorry Midna, but the review says so and…

Midna: YOU. WILL. DIE!!

DTR (grabs Link and pushes in front of authoress after Midna attempts to tackle her)

Link: Drae!

Midna (accidentally falls on Link brushes lips with him for over a minute) Mhmm!!

DTR: Sweet mama molasses!

Everyone: gasps

Link (with heart in eyes): Whoa! (Midna smiles)

Zelda (rolls up sleeves): You're lucky Midna that Malon and the cliff fall didn't kill you, but… I WILL!!

(Zelda rips Midna off of Link and begins to fight)

DTR: Will the both you stop your fighting! You're acting like asses!

Zelda and Midna: She started it! No, you started it! (they go back to fighting)

DTR: (takes out a tazer) I hate to do this.

(Author/authoress (whatever you people call it) zaps both princesses)

Ganondorf: (comes of nowhere) Did you have to that to them?

DTR: I could've used the blow gun. (if you don't it's a wooden tube that shoots darts).

Authoress suddenly realizes

DTR: Where the hell you come from?!

Ganondorf: The damn cliff you kicked me off of.

DTR: Oh. Well I'm about done for tonight. I might have to do laundry tomorrow and I'm **not** looking forward to it.

Ganondorf: I don't blame you. I gotta rest my bones after that cliff fall!

DTR: Calm down, we'll negotiate it tomorrow. Right now it's time to shut it down. First, I want to say I'm sorry about the first chapter. I didn't fix all the kinks. And thanks to those who reviewed, I'm also sorry that I took so long to update. I was kinda on vacation and was in school with a crap load of homework. I promise that the other reviews will be in the next chapter. So, until then, keep em' coming!


	3. Chapter 3

I know I'm late but Happy Halloween and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Doing 3 essays for English, 5 tests for other courses, and a 5-7 page report for a class you're failing in can take a lot of you! But, I'm back giving you a fresh baked chapter and a side of truths and dare to go around. So to start it off, Link will do the disclaimer.

Link: (sitting in a massage chair with hot chocolate). Can't you let someone else do it?

DTR: Lemme think…NO!

Link: C'mon why do I have to? I'm kinda busy here.

DTR: (sarcastically) Wow. Having your ass sit in a massage chair must be hard work.

Link: It is if you're here.

Authoress' taps fingers on desk and shoots a death glare.

Link: (rolls eyes) Alright, DraeTheRaven does not own any of us if she did I wouldn't be saving Hyrule 10,000 times.

DTR: Actually, it's about 12. So stop your whining and get your ass out that chair so we can start!

Link: (gets up) whatever you say, mom.

Authoress pitches empty mug at his head.

Link: OW!!!

Vaati: Can go already?

DTR: You wanna start this off, be my guest.

Vaati: The first dares came from **Ottofan:**

**YAY! Another one! Now I get to torture them more! MUAHAHAHAHA... yeah..**

**I dare Toon Link to rape Midna**

**I want to turth Link... Do you love Zelda? (I'm a die hard Zelink fan BTW)**

**I dare Zelda to run around naked with Link at Hyrule Castle and the King whatching.**

**I dare Midna and Tetra to murder anyone who touches Link (besides Zelda and Toon Link) Mostly Ruto!**

**I dare Gannondorf to make out with Vatti  
**

**I dare the king of Hyrule to try and murder who ever touches the castle courtyard grass, its an extra thing for the Link and Zelda Dare**

**I dare Vatti to go skinny dipping with Midna**

**I dare Malon to rape Epona**

**I dare Illia to jump in a blackhole and die**

**I dare impa to whatch all of this**

**I dare Ruto and Navi go with Link and Zelda**

**I aslo dare Midna and Tetra go in a room with Navi with lots of wepons**

**I dare Link to kiss Gannondorf as the pig thingy**

**And thats it for now! Ottomonkey ;)**

DTR: Okay, I'm gonna make this fair for everyone. The some dares are gonna get cut. Because some of them aren't classified under the proper rating. That means there is **no** raping, man kissing, and nudity involved while I'm here!

Everyone: YEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!

Zelda: Link, do you love me?

Authoress takes out camera phone, ready record the elf bo- errr…hero's answer.

Link: *blushes* umm…you are pretty and smart…and…

Ilia: I thought you loved me Link?!

Midna: Link I thought you started loving me from the last chapter after we kissed!

Link: Well… Drae pushed me in front of you to save herself.

Zelda, Ilia, and Midna glare at Authoress.

DTR: (changing the subject) Link, do you or do you not love Zelda?

Link: Umm …well…

DTR: Just answer the question.

Link: Zelda, I have feelings for you, but I have feelings for Midna and Ilia too.

Zelda: Oh I see…(walks away with tears down cheeks)

Authoress slaps the back of Link's head.

DTR: Jacksass.

Midna: Hey! Don't ever touch him! (Throws authoress out the window with her hair) and that's payback for throwing me off that cliff!

Ruto: Don't worry, (Grabs Link and hugs him) I'll protect you.

Link: (o.O') a little help?

Midna and Tetra grabs a sword and slashes up Ruto.

Midna: I beginning to like this dare.

Tetra: (sweatdrops)

Malon: Umm…while Drae comes back I guess we start the next dare.

Ilia: What was the next dare?

Malon: It was supposed to be one for the King of Hyrule, but he's not here.

Ilia: So what comes after that?

Malon: Vaati and Ganondorf…making out (shudders)

Toon Link: Ugh! They have too?!

Midna: No they don't the authoress wouldn't allow it.

Zelda: Yes, but because she isn't here at the moment (glares at Midna) they have to.

Vaati: Midna, what floor did you throw the authoress off of.

Midna: The 21st.

Ganondorf: She's screwed.

Vaati: And so are we because Drae's not here to stop us from doing the dare.

Ganondorf: Remind kill the person who sent this dare and to torch my mouth if we come out of this alive.

Vaati: Will do.

Both of them make out and everyone shudders.

Authoress comes back covered in scratches, bruises, and carrying crutches

DTR: You're lucky that you were able to hurt to me because of a dare.

Ilia: I thought you supposed to die after you slapped Link?

DTR: I did. After I was thrown from the 21st floor I died for about 30econds, until some cop tripped and his taker fell out which went off on me.

Malon: How long is it going to take you to…

Authoress heals herself

DTR: Thank the lord I can bounce back fast. So what are you on?

Tetra: The one where Ilia jumps into a black hole.

Ilia: I have to?

DTR: (annoyed.) You know good and well what the answer to that is.

Ilia: Fine.

Drae (me) opens up an obscure portal, practically sucking everything in sight.

Link: Everyone hold on to something!

Everyone does, while Ilia get sucked into the black hole. A small explosion occurs.

DTR: (closes portal) I'm glad that's over...

Impa: Unfortunately, I had watch to this nonsense.

DTR: Good thing those other dares weren't being done. It would've gotten uglier.

Zelda: Speaking of which, isn't Navi supposed to go into that weapon filled room**?**

DTR: Right. Midna! Tetra! Navi! Get your asses in the room now!

Midna: At least say please dammit!

DTR: Fine! _Please_ get your asses in the room now.

Navi: Which room?

DTR: Down the hall and make a first left. It's next to the software and chocolate room.

Tetra: (sarcastically) Of course.

They all leave.

Zelda: You think they'll be okay?

DTR: Those three have handled near-death experiences and are able to come back in one piece. I'm sure they can handle being in weapon room without…

Loud explosions and screaming occurs

DTR: …Dying.

All three girls come back covered in scratches and soot.

DTR: I going to need a lawyer when this chapter's over.

Zelda: (sighs) Let's do the review which is from Virus Queen and she wrote:

**Woo! This frantic is cool! I want Link! XD I have a crush on him... Now for the truth or dares...**

**I dare Ganondorf to play Super smash bros melee. The CPU fighting him MUST be level 9!(The hardest) and he must play as himself! If he looses he needs to try again until he wins. :3**

**Zelda, if you had the triforce of wisdom, why didin't you predict ganondorf was coming for you?**

**I dare Midna to annoy ganondorf while he's playing.  
**

Link: O_o'

Zelda: Umm…

Authoress slaps Link's face

Link: OW!!! What the hell was that for?!

DTR: You needed to be woken up in some way. And I wanted to get that out of my system.

Ganondorf: HAHAHAHA!!! That was rich!

Link: (growling to himself)

Ganondorf: (Turns on SSBM) Playing as myself, the almighty dark gurudo king, wielding the tri-force power! This won't take long.

Midna: Not if I'm around.

DTR: Good for you, I'll be back later or when I turn on the part of my brain that gives a damn.

_2 hours later_

DTR (walks in after she came from Detention) WHAT?!! You didn't finish the dare?!

Ganondorf: Finishing this task would be easier if a certain Twili wasn't here to distract me!

Midna: A dare's a dare's. So live with it!

DTR: (sigh in annoyance) Zelda why didn't you use the Tri-force of wisdom to protect yourself?

Zelda: The reason why I didn't do it because…

Navi: You wanted Link to save you, so you could make-out with him?

Author gives Navi a disgusted look.

Zelda: (picks up Spanish report and throws at Navi, which misses her and goes out the window)

DTR: Dammit! Zelda that took me 2 weeks to finish! (puts on skydiving suit and goes right after it)

Midna: Glad she's gone. (Takes out air horn and blows it in Ganondorf's ear)

Ganondorf: ARRGHHH!!! What was that for?!

Midna: (innocent smile) I'm sorry, I was just doing the like I was asked.

Zelda: I was afraid Ganondorf was going to take the Tri-force away.

Toon Link: What would make you think that?

Midna: Obviously, you must have forgotten who Gannon is. (drops an egg on him)

Ganondorf: (growls in frustration) When I conquer this challenge you will be made into a new edition to my trophy room.

Midna: Right. Like that'll happen. The next review is coming from **jackattack555:**

**Link: Who was the best guide: Navi, Tatl, or Midna?**

**Zelda: Who do you like getting captured by more, Ganondorf or Vaati?**

**Ganondorf: In Windwaker, why did you hesitate in front of the Triforce long enough for the King to touch it? You could have touched it and gotten your wish granted!**

**King of Hyrule; In WW, when you touched the Triforce, why didn't you wish for Ganon to die IMMEDIATELY so that Link wouldn't have to go through that whole annoying fight?**

Link: I not sure it's between Navi and Midna.

DTR: (runs into room) My report is safe! (turns to Zelda) You're not.

Zelda: Why?

DTR: I went through a near death experience by going out the same window previously to save a report that I spent on with my blood, sweat, tears, and brain cells on.

Zelda: (sweat drops) Oh.

DTR: Anyway, who do like getting captured by?

Zelda: (quickly) Vaati.

Ganondorf: WHAT?! You would rather be captured by him?!

DTR: Ganon, you have to think about it. You kidnapped Zelda about 12 times (post me if I'm wrong), only to be defeated by Link every time. So it shows that that type act needs at least some sort of change

Ganondorf: I never asked for your opinion you F*#^%g wench!

DTR: You seriously need to take a chill pill.

Toon Link: Ditto.

Ganondorf is about to answer the question until he is cut off

DTR: And I'll tell you why Ganon didn't ask for his wish. He was being retarded!

Ganon throws his sword at the authoress but, she ducks.

DTR: You trying to kill me?!

Ganondorf: (sarcastically) I missed? Oh I'm sorry I'll do better next time.

DTR: Uh-huh.

Ganondorf: I wanted the King of Hyrule to perish first to satisfy myself even more.

DTR: Yeah and that worked out so well.

Malon: As stated previously the King of Hyrule is not here, to answer your question. So we'll do the next review from **Quintaso:**

**Ha-ha. Quinn here from Zelda Mini Madness! Really awesome comedy series you got goin'. Can't wait for the second chapter! (Not that I'm begging, take your time, no rush!)  
**

**Anyways, I dare Navi to shut her trap for one WHOLE minute!**

DTR: Thank you Quinn! And I just want to say like what you doing with the Zelda Mini Madness series.

Vaati: Stop ass-kissing.

DTR: (kicks Vaati in the face) Navi you saw the dare, you heard the dare, now you have to do it.

Navi: What why do I have to be punished?!

DTR: It's in the dare! And by the way thank you Quinn for sending this to us.

Navi: I am not going stop speaking! So can…

DraeTheRaven (me, the author person) takes out flyswatter and Navi shuts her mouth.

Midna and Link: THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

DTR: You welcome. The next one is from **insanity's child **and she wrote

**hi! i dare link to renact the scene from Benny&Joon were Sam plays with the bread rolls. And a truth for him. "why does he wear tights instead of pants? PEACE!**

DTR: Now that is a question I want the answer to. Why in the hell don't you wear pants?!

Link: I do wear pants. They don't feel that comfortable.

DTR: I find that hard to believe. First of all you wore shorts before you went on that journey in Twilight Princess. Second you changed into the elf-boy costume you always wear.

Link: (angry) I told you, I'm not an elf!

DTR: Hard to say that about your wardrobe.

Link: (Unsheathes sword ready to slash author person, but she opens a closet door, and then locks it.) Open the damn door!

DTR: NO! That'll teach you to try and murder me, elf boy!

Link: Drae you let Midna kill you.

DTR: She killed me for 30 seconds and it was in a dare. So, you're not getting out!

Vaati: You have too. Link can't do the dare if he's locked in the closet.

DTR: …Fine. (Opens door) Link I'm sorry that I called an elf, that's not what you are.

Link: (feeling better) Thank you.

DTR: Now do the dare or your going to be spending the end of the chapter getting a workout from your fangirls.

Link: -_-'

Vaati: Hmm. Nice save.

DTR: (gives him the "I know look".)

Link sweat drops and sticks forks into the bread rolls pretending they are feet.

DTR: (O_O) Okay. (Hears explosion from another room) What was that?!

Tetra: (looks at gut splattered wall) you forgot to tell Navi that she could speak again.

Malon: (disgusted) Who's going to clean this up?

DTR: Not me, it's not my job.

Vaati: Figures.

DTR: Well that's all I got for now, and yes this chapter sucked. When you send in reviews for dares please make sure you keep dares the dares around 3-6 and be appropriate. And one more thing is sure to post some holiday based reviews. I'll be looking forward to it! Have a great day and keep the reviews coming!

Ganondorf: (still playing) What the f*#k is wrong with this?!

DTR: Please people, in the name of all that is pure!


End file.
